Next Big Book Thing: Living the Life You Love by Paula Renaye

I Want to Do That

When people learn that I’m an author and have written a number of books in both fiction and nonfiction, they often share their own desires to write a novel or their life story. I always encourage them, but I also recognize that few will actually ever do it. Why? Because they really don’t want to. They like the idea of writing a book—and there’s a part of them that wants to—but the reality of doing it is something entirely different. Writing is a lot of work and there are simply other things that are more important—at least at the moment. It’s a fact, because if they really wanted to write a book, they’d already be doing it. They’d be sitting in front of their computers writing instead of staring at the TV, shopping, playing golf, volunteering or whatever currently takes up their leisure time.

It all comes down to priorities and choice, and it’s true for every situation. There’s really only one reason we don’t do things: We don’t want to—other things are more important.

If you value it, you’ll make time for it.

If it’s important to you, you’ll make it happen.

If you really want to, you will.

So, here’s the deal: If you say you want to make a career change, but you need more education or a particular certification, then stop talking about it and put your time and energy toward figuring out how to make it happen. If you keep complaining about how unhappy you are in your relationship, figure out what it’s going to take to make you happy and get to it. The bottom line is if what you’re doing now hasn’t gotten you what you say you want, something has to change. If you want something different than you have right now, you absolutely, positively must do something different.

Either do what you keep saying you want to or quit saying it. Whether it’s to lose weight, get another job, move, eat better, be less critical and judgmental, exercise more, get a divorce or whatever, you need to either do it or simply admit that you don’t want to and stop putting it out there as if you do.

Saying it without doing it may keep it as a possibility in your mind, but what it’s actually doing is reinforcing that the conscious “me” can’t be trusted—it’s just talk. So, when words like “I want to do that” slip out of your mouth, get clear in your own head what you really mean. Maybe you really do want to do it, but haven’t yet. Or, maybe you admire the skill, talent and effort it takes, and would admire yourself if you had that accomplishment.

Whatever the case, be honest with yourself. It may seem like an inconsequential thing to do, but every time you come clean with yourself and speak truth in one area, you take a step closer to owning all your truths.

Now, here’s your first Transformation Insight opportunity, which is designed to help you find the parameters that you have to work with. Once you know what you’re not willing to do, it’s easier to see what choices you are willing to make and how those can move you toward your goals.

Remember, it is essential that you do these Transformation Insight exercises in written form. Use your workbook, journal, notebook, paper or electronic document and write whatever comes to mind.